“We’re all walking around with these glossy eyes. “I’m just tired”, we say. But you know what? It’s bullshit. Yes, we are tired, but it’s not all from lack of sleep. We are tired of waking up with nothing to look forward to, tired of going to bed exhausted after doing a million things we find no enjoyment in doing. We’re tired of this void, this emptiness that looms over us even though our days are packed. We’re tired of the loneliness that presses down on us even though we’re surrounded by dozens of people. So why can’t we just say it? Humans are so afraid to look into eachother’s eyes and say “I am unhappy, I am broken, I am hopeless and fallible”. We’ve been conditioned to associate pain with weakness, sadness with coldness, loneliness with unworthiness, difference with disease, as if these feelings are contagious, as if ambivalence is something not to be felt but to be feared. Well, I say screw all of that. Screw forced smiles and polite handshakes and I’m fine, thank you. Screw the fear of crying in a public place, screw the fake chipper voice, screw the lies we spit out to cover up our problems. We are humans. We are meant to feel. To feel everything and to feel it all openly. We are not metal – we are flesh and bone. Our boiled blood courses through our cold, clammy hands. We are intricate and beautiful and we should never hide our human parts, because if we do, then what’s left to show?”
“It’s pouring, and as I watch the raindrops roll down my window, I pretend that I am in a floating house. I am not firmly plated on the ground but rather flying over the ocean. How sweet it would be to leave everything behind but take it all with me, to rise into the atmosphere like I am no longer bound to this earth. Like I could not only defy gravity but negate its existence. I wonder what the stars would taste like.”
“Humans and expectations are like dogs and electric fences. We get our hopes up, we see an opportunity, we allow ourselves to trust others. We believe there’s a way out, an escape, something better. We let ourselves think it’s possible and then we get zapped. The sad thing it that after getting hurt to many times, a dog stops trying. They start to associate hope with pain. They give up on the people they love. They settle. I wonder how many burns the skin can handle before the scars begin to seep into the soul.”
“Think of something really hard you’ve had to go through in the past. Well, you survived it. You’re alive, aren’t you? Think about that the next time you’re going through a really hard time. You’ll pull through. You’ll survive. You are strong. Your skin may tear, and your bones may break, but your soul? Your soul can never be irreverisbly damaged.”
Jeg har for mye på hjertet i dag til at jeg klarer å forklare det med egne ord, så derfor lar jeg heller disse tekstene gjøre det. Jeg kom tilfeldigvis over disse akkurat i dag, og de forklarer et par av de tusen tankene som har reist gjennom hodet mitt i det siste og ut i det fjerne.
